First Date Expectations: What African Women Really Want

A lot of people ask, Do African women make good lovers? The answer isn’t just a simple yes or no—it’s deeply tied to culture, values, and evolving dating expectations. In an increasingly interconnected world, understanding cultural perspectives on dating and relationships has never been more important. As African diaspora communities expand across Europe and North America and as dating cultures shift within Africa itself, gaining insights into modern African women’s dating preferences helps foster meaningful cross-cultural relationships.

In early 2025, we conducted an extensive survey of over 50 African women, capturing a diverse range of perspectives from different generations, nationalities, and living situations. The respondents, primarily from Nigeria, Uganda, Cameroon, and other African nations, included both women living in their home countries and those who have made new homes in countries like Germany, the United States, Canada, and the United Kingdom. This mix of traditional values and international exposure provides a unique lens through which to view contemporary dating expectations.

The survey focused on several key areas: ideal first date scenarios, gift preferences for various occasions, and crucial behaviors to avoid during initial encounters.

What emerged was a fascinating blend of traditional values and modern expectations, shaped by both African cultural heritage and international influences.

Particularly noteworthy was the participation of women across different age groups, from under 18 to 45+, with the majority falling in the 25-34 and 35-44 age ranges. This age distribution offers insights into how dating preferences might evolve across generations. The geographical diversity of respondents—from bustling African cities to European metropolises—adds another layer of complexity to understanding how location and cultural context influence dating expectations.

The Ideal First Date: Keep It Simple and Conversational

The overwhelming majority of respondents prefer first dates that facilitate genuine conversation and connection. Popular choices include:

• Quiet restaurants with good ambiance
• Casual walks in scenic locations
• Activities that allow for interaction and getting to know each other
• Public places with minimal interruptions

As one respondent eloquently put it: “My ideal first date would be a relaxed and fun experience, like a cozy dinner or a scenic walk, where we can have great conversations, share laughs, and genuinely connect in a comfortable setting.”

Interestingly, several respondents emphasized that gifts shouldn’t be the focus of a first date. One Ugandan participant noted, “The first date is about getting to know each other, not about getting down and dirty.”

First Date Mistakes & Gift Preferences: What Women Really Want

First impressions matter, and certain behaviors can instantly ruin a first date. According to our survey, the biggest turn-offs include rushing physical intimacy, like attempting to kiss too soon, being overly touchy, or expecting sex.

Conversation mistakes also play a big role—talking only about oneself, not asking questions, constantly checking the phone, or bringing up exes are all major red flags. Bragging excessively is another common mistake that makes a bad impression.

Beyond conversation, logistical missteps can be just as off-putting. Suggesting a home visit too early, arriving late, having poor hygiene, or expecting to split the bill all came up as behaviors to avoid.

When it comes to special occasions like Valentine’s Day and birthdays, women prefer thoughtful, luxurious gifts. Personalized jewelry, money gifts, perfume, skincare, and romantic dinners are top choices for Valentine’s Day. For birthdays, experiences like spa days and trips stand out, along with luxury beauty products, designer fashion, and tech gadgets.

Ultimately, making a great impression is simple—respect boundaries, engage in meaningful conversation, and put thought into gifts.

Cultural Insights

The survey reveals interesting cultural nuances, particularly among African women living abroad. Those residing in Western countries often emphasize the importance of thoughtful planning and respect for time while maintaining traditional expectations around chivalry and gift-giving.A Cameroonian respondent in Germany captured this blend perfectly: “Be intentional about it by making plans beforehand. Choose a location that shows you actually did research on beforehand, chivalry gestures, complements during the date, be attentive to our conversations.”

Final Thoughts

The survey results paint a picture of modern African women who value meaningful connection over material gifts on first dates. While they appreciate thoughtful gestures and gifts, what matters most is genuine interest, good conversation, and respectful behavior.As one Nigerian respondent in Finland wisely noted: “First dates should be more about quality time and getting to know each other better. Gifts could be extra but not the core.”This insight perhaps best captures the essence of what makes a truly successful first date – it’s not about the gifts or grand gestures, but about creating a genuine connection in a comfortable, respectful environment.

We’d love to hear from you!

1. What are your own expectations for a first date?
2. Do you have a weird or unforgettable first date experience you’d like to share with us?

Share your thoughts in the comments or reach out to us at lovestories@afrodites.space—we can’t wait to hear your perspective!